Last night was the usual Friday night film night with the neighbour. She did some american style food because of the 4th of July celebrations. She was nothing but kind but my mood was shocking. Even came really close to losing my temper because of subtitles. Everything was just irritating me. Today her and her other half are celebrating his birthday. It's just made me think... She is doing all she can to make his day a happy thing. I've never had that from a partner......... I want someone to WANT to make me as happy as I want to make them.
Why have I, not only, not been able to find someone but the people I have been with why has it been an uphill struggle? Why haven't I ever found anyone that wants to put as much in to it as I have? How come all this has been such a fuck up and falls in to the right place wrong time? Story of my fucking life. Seriously, fucking kill me now!!
How many of those people who say they are there are ACTUALLY there?? Those people who are there if they have nothing better to do. Sorry I'm busy I'll speak to you later. I understand and know how you feel. YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKING IDEA HOW I FEEL. YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKING IDEA ABOUT MY LIFE. WALK IN MY FUCKING SHOES THEN TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND. THEN TELL ME IS THAT FUCKING SIMPLE. THEN TELL ME YOU'RE I'M A GOOD PERSON AND IT'S EASY TO FIND SOMEONE. UNTIL YOU'VE WALKED IN MY SHOES DON'T PRETEND YOU KNOW. YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKING IDEA!!!!!
DON'T THINK I WRITE THIS AND DAYS OR WEEKS LATER IT GOES. IT'S BEEN THERE FOR MORE YEARS THAN I WANT TO WORK OUT.
The good times are behind me.....
It would be a blessing and mercy to go to sleep and not wake up.
No comments:
Post a Comment