Well then...... Entering week 4..............
Lets just forget week 3 shall we? Far FAR to many fuck ups. Far to many regrets. Far to much in my head that will never get published or made public and frankly will never be conveyed in person to anyone things buried enough that I promise not even people who believe they know me know..... Even my mother said to me last week please don't kill yourself!!! Properly actually fuck last week!!
Week 4.........
Thought I would make this another personal one from my perspective. For those of you that don't know me, I'm 40. I live on my own in a one room flat somewhere in the UK. For various reasons my social circle is very very small (read the other blogs). The "lockdown" (we aren't in lockdown but are following advice giving. It's not enforced just really frowned upon if you don't follow) is frankly giving me a bit of a kicking. It's lovely that there have been a very small group of people messaging me to say hello but I'm failing a bit in the fact I am not really seeing anyone and am pretty much here with my own company. There is someone who I see a little bit but the restrictions (some by my own doing) mean I'm feeling a little bit like a knackered Russian bear in a cage that no only doesn't get looked at but has been moved to the corner of the establishment and just gets pointed at and left at that. This does NOT detract from the people messaging but you know, contact in person is different. Now I know a lot of people would say "yes but we are all in the same boat" and sadly most those people are in a building with others and have another household where they can interact. For me it's increasingly being me myself and I. If it weren't for that American I think my mentality would have taken a very very sharp nosedive by now. If you've got this far then this blog is NOT about you.
I've put quite a lot of thought in selling most my things, the car, guitars, all my toys. What makes a man? Is it his possessions? Is it his standing in life? I don't think it is either. I don't know what it is though but a lot of thought has been put i to this in the last 5 days or so. I never used to cry and now it is happening more and more. Even I'm stating to think of myself as pathetic. I'm not writing what I want to now so I'll walk away from this whilst thinking to myself I don't know where to go from here........
I do miss the good morning and nighty night bits though......
F
#Corona #Stayathome #Covid19 #NHS #Crisis
