That there dating scene.........

You all know how it is. You get to that point in life when you think to yourself you need to settle down. It's about time you got yourself a dog and/or a cat or whatever else it is you feel the urge to have sat on your lap when you get home from a hard day at work. If you are feeling really brave then you might have decided to settle down with a man or a woman or if you are really REALLY lucky two of whichever you choose. Most of you succeed at this but the very few elite people on this planet without intending to choose to run the course until late in the game. I'm going to liken this to something Richard Hammond once said. "When you go out to a disco the easiest thing is to leave as soon as possible with the first female to show willing" This is very much the path I am going to pretend I didn't want to take.......
 After reaching the tender age of 36 I have decided that I might become proactive in finding myself a partner in crime who will eventually agree to be locked in my cupboard and be brought out for special occasions . Which path am I going to go down to succeed in this? Who knows. The first part of this master plan is to get back to the gym and as soon as I've finished this 85 inch pizza with extra cheese I will think about pretending I will join my local lycra in the park group. I long for nothing more than prancing around the local green with beanbags gaffer tapped to my forehead in the interests of improving my apple core.......
 Singles nights......... I think this could very well be the path that is taken. I can think of nothing more exciting than visiting one of these groups that is no doubt full of the "take what you can get" mentality. I'll turn up there in my most rock and roll Timberlands and glasses whilst sporting a rather fetching necklace and medium size bunch of keys. What sort of braindead moron wouldn't jump on that be it man or woman? I might have to take mace. When I say might be rest assured that I will be turning up in full battle dress and carbon fiber armor and signed Perry McCarthy Stig helmet. I can tell by this point you are all either hard or wet!!
 As I type I am trying to think of some questions that will entice even the most cold hearted of lumberjacks for example, "Exactly how long have you been in to me for?"

We'll see how things go

Dating nonsense. On with the havoc!!

Fx

PS; If you enjoyed this blog, if it made you laugh, if it made you smile let me know by commenting or sharing it with people. Thank you :)