Easter (Jesus was in a crack den)

Right then...... Easter......... Good Friday........ Knock one off Monday (It's just a bank holiday but you have to find something to do with your day off)

Once upon a time there was this group of probably men sitting round and thought they would write what can only be regarded as one of the most successful stories of all time, it's even more successful that Lord of the rings and those films are about 87.3 hours long!!!

 There's some bloke. His mum was a bit of a shit talker, "Of course I haven't been riding anyone else Joseph bae" and his dad was a massive mug "Course you ain't been wiv anyone else lover and we haven't had sex but you're pregnant. Were you wearing my pants again?"..........

A quick side note, isn't it fairly bad for the baby if a pregnant woman rides a donkey bare back *snigger* over shitty mountain paths? I don't think there were any finished roads back then.

..........anyway, I digress. Pretty soon after Mary had been no doubt chasing the dragon she sees an "angel" (she must have been smacked out of her face).
 "Mary babe, tell the mug of a husband that your child is the son of god"

Anyway, she rides the donkey *snigger*, he is to cheap to pay for a hotel. She squats and drops in the barn (literal shit all over the floor) and three men turn up, I think they were probably social services but they told people that they were three kings/wise men (there is nothing wise about telling everyone you are a king just so you can watch a woman give birth) and everyone is happy. Years down the line Jesus is growing up and telling people I'm the son of god so you should be peaceful when I tell you to be (if you did that at either of my schools you would get beaten up)

Eventually the army think to themselves "this guy is a fucking nutter but we cant lock him up. Let's kill him!"

They find a guy that's happy to grass him up and they put him on the cross.

It's a little known fact that when people used to get crucified the thing that would kill you was not the being nailed to the cross but you would either get disemboweled to speed things up or your lungs would collapse. If you have your arms out at a right angle for long enough (a few hours) your lungs will give in because of the form of your body, FACT, look it up!" It's along the same lines of people thinking that you suffocated whilst being hung. That's not how you die. Because of the distance you drop if snaps your neck which fucks up one of the tricks that used to be done where the person to be hung would secrete a tub into their neck so that the airway doesn't close but you then have to think about the whole issue of cutting the bloody flow off to the brain.

Anyway....... I digress......

Jesus is dead. I suspect that in those days he would just have been burned but that doesn't sound as impressive. People are told he is buried in this cave. What I think happened then is some grave robbing bastards thought it would be funny to pinch the body. They opened the cave and what a fucking surprise, he wasn't there. I think they then went off and said "YEAH HE ROSE AGAIN, ONLY WE SAW HIM BUT NOW HE HAS FUCKED OFF FOR GOOD" Basically they were lying fuck nuggets.

What we are basically celebrating at this time of year is a botched execution and grave robbing liars. Enjoy your chocolate you bastards!!

Peace and love

Enough nonsense

Fx

The micropenis effect

Right then.......... Men........
There are a couple of people that I currently know from various dungeons and x rated hardcore pornographic expos that have spoken about men. They've said things that, in my mind, are not about real MEN but are about insecure idiots. This blog is not and I repeat NOT based directly on anyone or anything.

The sort of man that stalks a woman and finds them and enters their personal space in their life uninvited is a super special kind of idiot. I can't see one thing that makes it OK to invade someones private life without being invited. it stops at that. there is nothing else to say on it. It's simply wrong. Don't do it. If you think it's OK to do that then you are a dick!


The sort of man that controls a woman and her social life.

"Yeah but you cant go out or socialise with your friends because I have decided it's my turn to go out again this weekend despite going out every other weekend"

Seriously, what sort of supersonic cunt would do this to someone that is meant to be their partner? How much of a fuck nugget do you have to be to not only do this but not see that it is clearly a form of oppression and bullying regardless of you thinking it is or not.


The sort of man who uses the term "birds" or any other derogatory term. These men are another special kind of arsehole. These are the sort of cretins that no doubt are also very homophobic and have to speak like this because they need to get rid of any risk there might be that someone could think the love the cock.


There are many different variations of the above idiots but no matter what stage they are at be it not liking your frankly BETTER half speaking to other men or denying them as much free time as you allocate yourself, if you do any of the above then you are a cunt. Respect women for what they are. In my head there should be no cause for a male and female divide. We should, simply be two halves of one entity. A partnership. It's not about you and them. It's about us.
 Most men are dickheads and don't deserve to have any happiness in a relationship.

The only thing worse than any of the above is any male or female that hits their partner. Those people don't deserve to be written about. Those people deserve to be in prison or put to death. There is no movement from that in my eyes.

Enough nonsense!!

Fx

YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL FRIEND!!

January 1st 2017......

So then, last night I imagine most of you were out having a wonderful time or were spending time with a loved one. What was I doing? I was in bed by about 20:15. Why was I here? Mostly because I hadn't had any contact or messages or invites from anyone to go out for new years eve. The drama begins.......

Right then, long story short. I had a really fucking shity time up until the age of 18 when it comes to friends. various things happened and I ended up having to find new friends every few years. I found a group of people that I thought were my new group of friends. This lasted a long time and I met loads of new people that I was more than happy o be friends with. It is in my nature that if there is anyone who needs my help or support then I will always give it. I tend to give more than I get back except in a couple of circumstances. I have even done things with prisons and with court problems simply because people needed me to do something or help them out in some way.
 Whilst living at my parents I was often told that the reason people didn't come round is because it was awkward to come round to my bedroom in my parents house. Surely when I move out and have my own place people would visit. You would think so wouldn't you. I spent all my social time from the age of 18 to the point of moving into my own place at the age of 32 travelling to other peoples houses and always making the effort for them. Driving around and often ferrying people around at my expense to help them out. Once again surely when I move into my own place it will be time to pay it back......

2011, December 10th. I move into my own place......

I stood in my flat and waited for the insurgence of people coming to visit me. You know, I'd spent 14 years making the effort for them......... The door didn't knock. The bell didn't ring.

A year or two passed and I voiced thoughts on the matter and let people know that I was really depressed and on several occasions had wanted to end my life. A good friend would then change how they were and try to make sure the other person is ok. Did this happen? NOT A FUCKING CHANCE. One person even said Why didn't you tell me how you had been feeling? Sure I will be around more. Did anything change? NOT A FUCKING CHANCE.

You spend all of your life trying to do right by other people and and you find that others have taken you to be some sort of cunt and ignored who you are as a person. You try to do best by other people and, I have used these words, do what you can to make other peoples lives a better place to live.
 My question is. Why have I bothered to put my time and effort into this when people are so eager to turn their back on me and forget me? What the fuck have I done in life to validate being treated like this? I must have been some sort of supersonic arsehole!

New year 2016.....
No invites. Not even any happy new year messages.
It went through my head that I wanted to end 2016 by ending my life. I couldn't do that to my parents no matter how much I would have liked to.

The people I know are coming across as complete fucktards. Do I have the energy to start again? I don't know. Do I hope they are all vanquished to a life on there own so people can see what it's like to be forgotten by people who you thought were friends? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!!!

This has caused me social anxiety. This has caused me real problems mentally.

No kiss.

A royal fuck you to the people that have damaged me in this way.

F

Love and other drugs you should avoid

Love..........
What does it mean? In modern times it seems to mean anything from describing your thoughts on the person you met at the bar a couple of hours before and had a bit of a laugh with which caused you to consume far to much alcohol. I'm going to jump in and say this is NOT the meaning I will ever place on this beyond important word.

Is love a feeling? Is is it simply an unexplained emotion that differs for every single creature? I feel it's important to specify creature because you would have to be beyond naive to think its limited to the human race.

What does love mean to me?
To me love is a state of being that combines emotions, well being and your heart beat. To me love is that feeling you get when you are just happy the other person exists and is in your life. Does this mean that if the person is there no more you love them any less? Of course not because then you can still love the entity and being that the other party has become. Does someone you love mean they make your life a better place to be? No. Does someone you love aim to make you happier? Alas also no.

In my head there is only one rule to do with love. Tell the person. I've fucked this up a few times and clearly haven't learnt. ALWAYS. TELL. THE. PERSON!!!! If it's not reciprocated then granted it isn't always easy but you have done the right thing and let the other person know. Don't fuck about. Just do it!! I'm going to kick myself for the rest of my life about it. You'll never know unless you put it out there.

Fx














I don'think anybody will understand the inclusion of this video. It's from a night sat up watching the worst films we could find with two bottles of pimms and some bottles of wine.

That M

I don't really know what to say in this one.

Someone who held a VERY special place in my heart for the last 19 years or so died yesterday in her sleep. There would be no better way to go.

I have known people die in my family and also people I have known in the circle of my friends but with this one a piece of my heart has died with it. My biggest regret is not telling her how much I adored her before she passed away. I haven't cried over death before properly but with this I find my tears every time I stop keeping myself busy and think of her.

Love forever and always to you. My heart aches.

Always tell the one you love how you feel. ALWAYS.

This is one of those people I genuinely think I would give anything to have one more time with them but all the times I remember were really happy and had loads of laughing.

One of the most incredible people ever to walk this earth and a massive loss and step back to man kind.

I will honestly miss you.

F

Family........... The secret truth!!

Family.......... Can't really live with them. Can't get away with shooting them in order to claim on the life insurance........

It means something different in connection to every single person on the planet. Some people are fucking idiots and use the word "fam" and in my opinion those are the people should probably be chemically castrated.

For me what does it mean? To me family is anyone who has a permanent place in my heart and those people that in their own way look out for me This does of course mean that if I ever have a heart transplant most if them are screwed as half the reason for them being regarded as family dies off. In my instance I can say that I have 5 members of true bloody family and a few that are family in my heart without blood. Both have their merits and downfalls. Only one in my list was brought in by other means but all the same that person is brilliant and has a very well deserved place in my family.


This is a work in progress............ Keep watching!!

Those people in the street.......

Come on. You know the ones. You're walking down your local shopping street and all of a sudden some grubby and yet spotless urchin jumps out at you and insists on talking to you about the blight of the three legged lesser spotted badger from the Philippines. Both you know and I know that regardless of what bollocks they are about to spout connected to it's babies that are born with mange so bad they have to shit out of their left ear. It's nonsense because the ultimate plan is to get your bank details!!!! There is only one style worse than this and that's the ones that knock on your door. I've been off work today and my door bell went. I answered and someone said we want to speak to you about animals. "Do you like animals sir". The first mistake was asking such a fucking stupid question designed to do nothing more than trap me into a path of expanding conversation and the second was calling me "sir". Don't do that. It will just make me think that you view yourself as lower than me on the food chain of life. I said yes I do but I am not in a position to give them my money at the moment. The person who rang on my buzzer at this point played what can only be described as the worlds greatest checkmate. He came back instantly and said we aren't here for that today we are here to give away free dogs. I shit you not, for a split second my brain went into full I WANT A CUTE PUPPY mode and then came back to reality. I brilliant reply to someone who was clearly not expecting it!!

Well done if you got through that house brick of text!!

The other week I was walking down the road and I made the fatal mistake of making eye contact with someone. They turned round and looked at me. There was a group of three of them. They were of Asian ethnicity and I thought as they walked towards me that they were after directions to somewhere. I was happy to give them these directions. They asked if they could speak to me and a little alarm went off in my head along with the words holy fuck please no. They asked if they could speak to me about the bible. Now then, this is a subject I love albeit not believing in any part of the bible, you know, because it is a book written by man for men, a lot like the book written by L. Ron Hubbard. If you don't know who he is then google it..... I told them I wouldn't be the best person to speak to as I am not religious, they said they only wanted to speak to me as they were from Korea and it was a language exercise for them and that was all. I went along with it and they were reading from a folder and speaking about why there was a father a son bu no mother god and that it mirrored a normal family home in all other aspects apart from the lack of a mother, Anyone who knows me can probably guess that this is normally all I need to fire off on a rant about modern life and religion and how the view changes depending on which version of Aesop's fables you actually read. The long and the short of it was after showing me the famous painting of all those people having a meal with Jebus and his wife next to him they asked if I knew the painting, I said yes and then they asked me if I believed in the possibility of there being a mother god........ I gave them a bit of a blank look and reminded them that it wouldn't be a fair answer as I don't believe in god. They said thank you and good bye.....
One of the main things going through my head was north or south I MUST KNOW!!!!!

My normal methods of deflection when someone asks if they can speak to me in the street are either to just stand there and stare at them without blinking until they walk off (this works a treat!!) or simply say I'm sorry I can't speak to you I died last night. Both of these are brilliant and topped only by when I was walking through central Berlin and got approached, they couldn't walk away fast enough when I spoke in English!!!!

Despite all this being said I do understand that people are doing it as a job and from time ti time they actually care about the cause but it's the ones who just won't fuck off that have caused this venom for the rest off them.

The long and short of it is everyone has to do a job. DON'T DO A SHIT JOB!!

Fx